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Thursday, June 20, 2013

Polygamy, USA : The New Polygamist



Time sure flies when you're having fun! So we have come to the last episode, which in true reality show fashion, should try to tie up all those silly loose ends generated throughout the season. Of course, NatGeo is not as slick as Bravo's stable of reality shows, or smarmy like TLCs Sister Wives (i.e. no crying Kody or Meri or Robyn, no kids running around a cul-de-sac jubilantly flying kites). Hmm....I wonder what we'll see?

Before we start, here's some Michael Cawley inspired artwork of the polygamists whose ends were still hanging loose in the last episode.












Uncle Art, son Ezra and wife Gloria
Newlyweds Hyrum and Kellie         



And of course, those happy (and totally soused) sisterwives, Rebecca and Marleen


So I can hear you thinking, "But what about Rose Marie?" Ah yes, when we last left Rose Marie, she was accompanied by her father and about to step into the Brethren's office door. She had decided to leave it up to the Brethren to decide which man in their small community she will marry.

According to the narrator, we learn this is the first time "outsiders" have been allowed in a Brethren's office. From the look of his office, I can see why. See how carefully Brethren Cawley has organized his office and desk? At first glance it looks like a normal office, but when you look a little closer...

Notice the book of Priesthood Discourses 1962 placed prominently in the middle of the desk. There's the computer disc probably holding top secret church matters on the right, and a book of puzzles on the left corner.  And of course the golf bag holding...Ping golf clubs, I bet. Sitting next to a non-descript brown box. I wonder if the Brethren have placed the names all the "eligible" CP men names in that box and the one they pull out will be Rose Marie's husband. Hmmm.....

Anyway,  being that Brethren Cawley has the same last name as Michael Cawley I supposed it would be safe to assume they are related. In fact, they are. Now, I won't spill the beans on how close a relationship it is, but I will say that male pattern baldness is inherited from a man's mother.

After the meeting, (and apparently after being coached by the producers) Rose Marie decided to approach her mother with a question...What if she feels the Brethren made the wrong choice? Could  she still say no?

Rose got this look of total mortification on her face. You could almost hear her mind saying "Not in front of the cameras...NOT IN FRONT OF THE CAMERAS!!!" She hurriedly spitted out "If you don't feel right about it, you do not do anything." OOPS, wrong answer Rose. So Rose Marie spelled it out by saying that "Papa" said if you go to the Brethren for help and they give you a name, you don't say no because "...it's the Priesthood and they have a direct line to God...saying no to the them is like saying no to God." Yikes, how is Rose going to get out of this? Well, she fell back on how she had been taught. She explained "If you believe these men get inspiration from Heavenly Father...then if the answer comes from the Brethren then you are exercising your faith that Heavenly Father is working in your behalf and you believe that those men represent Him." But then she adds "...but you are the one whose going to live with the choice."

So, in other words, Rose Marie you should have just taken your chances because now you no longer have a choice. Get ready for that 70 year old husband. Stick a fork in Rose Marie, she's done.


Next, we have Ezra's story arc. The Brethren decided he needed two things before they would approve his marriage: 1) $10000 in the bank and 2) a place to live.

Of course, a sensible, dutiful son would take the advice of his father. He would put his marriage plans on hold, join the missionaries and prove to the Brethren he is worthy to be married. But Ezra isn't sensible or dutiful. In fact, he's irrational, immature and already a ne'er do well at 19 years of age. He wants everything NOW, and doesn't have a clue how to get it. And the way he shakes when he's around Tiffany makes me wonder if all this "I need it NOW" is driven by his need to...release his inner tensions if you know what I mean.

Anyway, his parents - Uncle Art and Gloria still want to meet and discuss with him about North Dakota and how he plans on meeting the requirements set by the Brethren. Now, this meeting might have worked if Ezra was level-headed and sensible. But he isn't. It's obvious he has no idea how to go about setting goals, making plans to meet those goals and saving money. He doesn't even know how much money, if any, he will be making. What a dumb-ass.

But it was particularly cruel of Uncle Art to imply that Tiffany may not wait for him, and that he hopes "Absence makes her heart grow fonder." Gee, maybe that's the reason Ezra is so messed up, ya think?

And when Ezra tells Tiffany he is leaving for North Dakota, she is so sad.  She even tells him to remember he's got a girlfriend at home but she seemed resigned to the fact he will stray anyway.  So it's a contest who will get the Dear John/Jane letter first.


Don't worry, Tiffany. He'll return like a bad penny always does.


I saved myself for marriage. I haven't kiss a guy before...
So let's look at another couple of young people whose marriage was sanctioned by the Brethren. Yep, I'm talking those newlyweds named Hyrum and Kellie.

Now here are two people who were thrown together because Kellie couldn't get Hyrum's name out of her head when she was a sophomore in high school.

Hyrum kind of understands what's going on. As we watch him packing up his clothes for the move to his brother's house, he talks about barely knowing Kellie.

In fact, he's talking like he's moving into a co-ed dorm room, and Kellie will be his roommate. Kellie says she definitely likes him, and that "love ...will come after we get to know each other and live with each other..."
Sorry, but I kissed a girl before


Ay Carumba!!! I have a feeling Kellie's gonna be in for some disappointment. Something tells me Hyrum will be pulling as many strings as possible to get a girl he really likes to marry him in a couple of years. Yep, marriage to Kellie may be duty, but Hyrum looks like he wants a wife who could match him shot for shot of tequila. A girl similar to ...Connie Cawley, perhaps. (Ha, betcha thought I was going to say Rebecca, didn't you!)

In what could be the most uncomfortable scene for the entire season, Hyrum and Kellie sit down for lunch with each other.

Yeah, I  heard about that...


With Kellie giggling incessantly, Hyrum tries to engage her in conversation. "Do you want to bite this?" Hyrum says, putting a slice of red bell pepper in Kellie's face. "Do you want to take a bite out of me?" Hyrum asks suggestively, with Kellie immediately recoiling away.

The only time Kellie answered like a mature woman was when Hyrum asked her "Do you want to have kids?"

"Well, not right now!" she says with a straight face, that immediately dissolves into giggles.

I wonder if Hyrum has Rebecca on speed dial? Like, he needs H E L P!!!

 And Kellie needs a T-shirt that says "Hyrum Kissed A Girl Before, And All He Gave Me Was This Fever Blister."

Good grief. When Michael Cawley brings out that torn picture of what he envisioned his life to be in the year 2040, all I can say is...What a strange 18 year old he must have been. I mean really strange. And I wonder how the corner of his masterpiece got torn off.

And then he starts this discourse on "Raising up a Righteous Royal Seed" and housing them in...hold on to your chapeaus, rusty shipping containers from China no less.

Yep, seven wives
and 50 children, housing the "excess" righteous royal seeds in shipping containers. No wonder Connie is throwing him a WTF look while he's going gaga about containers at the table.

The wives  most vehemently against the container housing were Rose and Connie, with Runaway wife Teresa wanting to spend the money on standard additions to the home. Yeah, like regular people in Centennial Park do.

Once inside the containers (which are not just eyesores, but damn ugly rusty eyesores) we see an amazing turn of events. Suddenly Rose is on board with Michael. So is Runaway Wife Teresa. Connie has been left slowly twisting in the wind. The containers will stay and be used as housing for Michael's righteous royal seed. Sorry Connie, but next time wear a shirt that doesn't have pink horsies  and chickies on it if you want to be taken seriously.


So what do two sister wives do when their hubby goes off to work for 5 weeks. Well, in the case of Rebecca and Marleen, you have a steak night and drink lots and lots of wine.

Once they were thoroughly soused, they played a card game. The winner, one of them decided, would get the other wives' night with Isaiah. Now, I'm getting a lot of vibes from these ladies...mainly an undertone of competition they try to hide with "Oh Marleen, you're so funny" or "Oh Rebecca, you're such a nerd." Yeah right. I think what Marleen's  thinking is Rebecca, it's time for you to get off your skinny behind and start having some more babies!

How does she walk in those things?
And to the NatGeo Producer, I have a question. Why the lingering shot of Marleen's extremely high heeled shoes she wore to the Dixie State conference?

At the conference, Marleen fielded questions like a professional. Professional polygamist, that is. For example, driving home the fact that she isn't like the polygamists of the FLDS. She chose to live her life as a polygamist and she has never been abused, Thank you very much. Actually I believe her. Who'd want to try and mess with a woman wearing 7 inch heels? Those things are lethal weapons!

The episode ends with the Centennial Park families going to worship. Uncle Art asked Rose Cawley to step up to the podium and give testimony.

Rose said she was grateful for the film crew (being that they are right there in her face). It's what God wanted them to do so people can see "what we want them to see."

And what she says is so true of this series. It wasn't a matter of showing outsiders Centennial Park, but one of only showing outsiders the Centennial Park the insiders want them to see. We saw the older, wiser polygamists and the new generation. We saw how they place couples into marriage. We saw how the community "missionaries" help to build houses and schools.

But as outsiders, we can also see how some things just don't make sense.

For example, saying that woman makes the choice who they will marry when in actuality their choice must be approved by the Brethren. And if a woman decides to allow the Brethren to "place" her in marriage, if she believes in her religion she will not say no to their choice of husband.

We saw a 15 year old girl break down in tears at the thought of not being able to bear children for her future husband.

We are told there is no abuse, but we see Art Hammon throwing a boot at a young man's head, and saying to son Ezra "You get kisses from your mother, you get a kick in the ass from me."

And don't forget the bedtime story reading by Michael Cawley that said women who live in monogamy are condemning their daughters to live as harlots in the street. And although the producers strove to "hide" the huge mansions, they are still there for all to see, courtesy of Google Map. Huge mansions being built while the groundwater of Centennial Park is too radioactive to drink, and still no building of their temple on Berry Knoll. Why are the super wealthy men of Centennial Park not taking better care of their community?

The good people of Centennial Park may think we outsiders only see the facade, but they need to know that facade is crumbling and their dark secrets are slowly but surely being seen in all their glory. Centennial Park wake up.


107 comments:

  1. Great review, as usual! I wonder if there will be a second season...do we know if Rose Marie has been assigned a husband yet?

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    1. There was a ABC news clip two weeks that showed Rose Marie celebrating her 19th birthday and she still wasn't married.

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  2. Why would Rose Marie put her destiny in other people's hands? May be she just knows that she does not have a choice and she does not want to make matters worse choosing a name which never will be accepted.

    I wonder if some of these women are gay or not interested at all in romantic relationships as they do not seem to expect to have more than a practical agreement with their husbands (shelter, food and kids arrangements).

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    1. I think several of the women look like they are gay/lesbians. And I think the two thin ones - Marlene and Rebecca seem gay as well. I think that is the tension so many are picking up on and assuming that it is total dislike of one another. I think it is sexual tension they are trying to maintain control over. And I think they all think Marlene is the key to convincing outsiders that they are just "normal" people trying to practice their religious beliefs which happen to differ from mainstream but other than that they have the same basic wants as us. Wrong. Only being able to show one young family out of all the 1500 plus that live there does not convince me at all. And to think that her heels or the way she looks will do it is even sadder. From what I saw of her on this show and Lisa Ling (years ago) she is one walking contradiction after another. If you are so "normal" and have nothing to hide then why the refusal to answer and or talk to other adults like adults? You opened the door up to questions and speculation by going on television and supposedly having nothing to hide. I am also disappointed in what was shown in regards to their belief - I didnt see much difference in the Browns and this community. Just thought they are so flat that maybe some are thinking this is some conviction to what they live - if you believe in what you live you should show some excitement and happiness when you talk about it - not a proud female past 20 there BUT the Browns seem to have raised very well adjusted daughters and sons . The oldest seem like they will be a plus and contribute where ever they live so I guess I am saying that I think they are full of you know what just like Kody out there in CP- just try to hide it . I prefer a truly open unrehearsed group (mouths a flappin then thinking) to the monotone lecturing grumpy trying to pretend we are doing it all for our belief and after life cons- I can not say it enough. The Amish and even the Hutterites were and are living a life devoted to their religion - similar but so far apart from these people in CP. And to think I was on their side before this show - thank you for waking me up !!

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    2. Madd Honest while I appreciate your opinion, please show some tolerance by not labelling women as looking or acting gay /lesbian. Thank you.

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    3. I've said it around friends but not sure if I ever posted it. If I were in Rose's shoes - I would pick the cutest, smartest, YOUNG guy out there and go .... There's my soul mate! I've got the message! Long before I would put my fate in an old geezer's hands. I am not a big liar at all, in fact, strive not to be, but every once in awhile, in that religion, you'd have to SAVE YOURSELF!

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    4. MS - IMO, that's EXACTLY what Kellie did. She had a crush on Hyrum because he was HAWT. If she wants to call that a "revelation"...well...

      now as far as Rose Marie goes, she seems to have entirely consumed the Kool Aid and feels that a name should just float into her conscious from God. and if it doesn't then she needs to ask some old dudes to pick for her. please.

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    5. haha Dakota, you are right! this might sound mean, but I feel bad for him. Poor guy so excited to get married, and her personality is about as interesting as a piece of cardboard. Can't blame the girl. If you were going to have one white lie in your life, that would be the one I picked. Poor Rose isn't crafty enough to think about the outcome.

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    6. I think Rose just realized that it doesn't matter if you marry a young stud like Hyrum or an old goat like Arthur, you're just as likely to end up a wife number for the rest of your life regardless of who you pick. She is also the daughter of a number 1 wife and probably knows first hand it isn't what it is cracked up to be. Plus, having to marry a younger man can mean less children and becoming a younger widow.

      I think we can all pretty much guess that Hryum is going to marry someone he "clicks" more with in the future, and Kellie is going to only be used as a baby maker from then on. These 2 really had much chemistry.

      However, if it was me I would have still picked a decent looking younger man!

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  3. I found Nat Geo's presentation of religious polygamy far superior to the kotex family on TLC. I suspect they are showcasing CP to compensate for loosing the Huterites. The CP folk seem more mature and sincere, allbeit the have their secrets, than the kodependent's. Honestly, I did not even watch the last season, just read reviews here, as the show was boring, felt staged, and I really don't care for the players enough to see what they are up to.

    As to the creepy Crawley females, I suspect Rose and Theresa were engaging in the usual passive aggressive attack on Connie, as neither one likes her. I asked my husband how he would feel if he had 3 wives, and not one of them was attracted to him, or wanted to be intimate-they all 3 would sigh and lay under him with a grim face when it was their turn. These 4 adults are together only for their afterlife, nothing else. They are not compatible as room-mates, much less marriage partners. What a miserable disaster this family is. The same antagonistic thread runs between Becca and Marlene, although I get the impression they have a better relationship as a polygamous whole than the Crawling clan.

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    1. I'm totally getting a George Costanza (sans humor) vibe from Michael Crawley. And YUP the family is a disaster. Poor kids.

      Actually Creepy Crawley does remind me of Kody a bit - they are both totally irresponsible when it comes to finances and how much house (or kids/wives for that matter) they can actually afford. The difference is that since the C's live in a compound, they might be somewhat protected from the foreclosure process which seems inevitable for the Browns. And speaking of the Browns...nary a peep yet with the exception of the announcement on F8F regarding the new season.

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    2. I aslo agree there is a parallel between Kody and Michael. As a matter of fact I think this might be an ongoing trend amongst the polygamist lifestyle. I would have to say it is becoming my biggest bone to pick about polygamists in the first place - a man that claims he is supporting his wives just to find out that many of the wives work outside the home and contribute equally or more than the man. Why don't they just call a spade a spade and admit that in todays age POLYGAMY IS NOT IDEAL FINANCIALLY. I imagine it is very rare that there are many polygamist families where the man is the only one working and actually able to afford his lifestyle. I don't think the men like to talk about the fact that most of them realistically can't afford it because it makes the men look selfish and greedy - which IMO I think most of them are.

      The more I learn about this lifestyle, the more I wholeheartedly disagree with it and am even becoming disgusted with it.

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    3. most monogamist relationships are not ideal financially and the husband cannot provide for the family alone. I don't agree with your comment Annonymous 2:42. Just like in monogamy husbands and wives have to go out into the work force and work... so polygamy multiple wives have to work. That is just common sense.

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    4. I don't dispute that most families these days have both (or all) parents/adults working at least part time. The parallels I saw were the fact that both Kody and Michael are blithely living WAY beyond their means, even with the incomes coming in, and both planning to have more children and either buy ginormous houses or expand living spaces to cram more of these poor unborn kids, willy-nilly, without an iota of financial planning. I suppose their excuse is that "god will provide" - however, my thought on that is that God provides us with brains, not with instant houses and money.

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    5. The difference is, most non-plygs don't continue adding to their family when they can't afford it. Also, they do not have "secret spirit wives," earning income on the sly while collecting government aid, while the manly man claims to be supporting his family.

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    6. I had thought that maybe TLC was waiting to air Sister Wives because they didn't want to compete with this new polygamy show on a different channel. However, since it has been about 6 months since the last season and they haven't said a word about it airing, I am wondering what is going on with the show. They aired a special on the Duggar's 3rd grandchild, but couldn't air a special episode on the Brown's moving into their new home or the graduation of 2 of the kids? Weird.

      I also can't stand how Michael acts like he is the big financial supporter of his when 2 of the wives work full time like he does, and one busts her butt at home harder than the 3 working. If these men want to be the big cheese, they should start providing better for their families instead expecting them to live like cattle in tin cans. What do you want to bet none of Connie's kids will ever be living in one? I would love another season of this show just to see more of her. She's one plyg woman who hasn't totally been beaten down yet.

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    7. Freya, wait, what? They aired a Darger special, and I missed it?! Please tell me there will be a repeat. What was the special called so I can look it up on youtube? Dang and double Dang! Thanks in advance :)

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    8. lauralee i think you're getting Darger confused with Duggar. there's been a documentary "My Three Wives" that was aired at the beginning of this year (or the end of last year - don't recall exactly).

      I recall, too, that TLC waited until maybe a week or two at the most before the premiere date to announce the new season of SW last year. remember we were all wondering? and IMO, based on the Honey Boo Boos who are quick to announce new shows and so on, i'm guessing that it isn't TLC, but F8F, who tells the Browns to keep the tentative air dates "a secret" although yes I know that F8F does state that the show will re-air starting 21 July on their website, but how many people actually even know about the producer website? and they've been way off before...remember the Darger special - they kept changing the dates and pushing them back...I think that was a sign of the negotiations/extensive re-editing that was going on behind the scenes. My GF got an advance copy of an earlier version of the Darger special and said it was BADLY in need of a re-edit. that was almost 4-6 months before the show finally aired...

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    9. DJ, good Lord, I need glasses! LOL

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    10. I don't think the Cawley's are living way outside their means. Only being $1000 over budget for a month isn't bad considering they are a family of over twenty, most families of four or five probably overspend by half of that. And the house is nothing to write home about either (and is probably provided by the church). Whereas the Browns go around buying new cars, and spending millions of dollars on houses that they don't have, while all are unemployed (unless you count posing in front of a camera employment...) at lease the Cawley's had the sense to send another wife to work.

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  4. I think my favorite part was Arthur throwing the boot. Now, I am not into brutality, just honesty. They don't get the kids to follow this crazy path by blowing kisses and going to amusement parks.

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    1. I also wanted to say thank you for adding this show to the blog.

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  5. My question... if men need to marry multiple wives to reach salvation, how do they not run out of women? I realize that older men marry much younger women, but unless they are selectively aborting baby boys to make sure that there are twice as many women as men in the community, I'm not sure how this works mathematically.

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    1. From what I've read CP does have a growing monogamous population. An example would be Rob who married outsider Amanda Darter. I suspect the "Brethren " work around the lack of available females by requiring their 18 year old men to work as "missionaries " for a number of years before allowing placement of a wife. And I also believe girls are indoctrinated into believing marriage/placement with an older man with wives is a better way to go. This was mentioned when Kellie was going for her mani/pedi. Someone said being a first wife was more difficult because the first wife had to establish the rules and foundation for the future wives.

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    2. It baffles me that more people don't catch on to this critical issue. Unless there is a huge influx of women to the community, most men will not be able to get married or fulfill their religious duty of marrying many women to "live like Heavenly Father." While I'm all in favor considering how pologamy affects the women invloved, this is an example of a very negative way in which this "lifestyle choice" affects the men of polygamous men specifically. From Polygamy USA, it seems that the missionary program is a way to filter the young male population into "haves" and "have-nots."

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    3. They are brainwashed, they don't see the same facts we do. Example: I read on the Darger's blog a post by Joe where he explained how the monogomous idea that there would be problem that there isn't enought woman to go around. According to him, there are born so many more men then woman that this isn't a problem... He sited various sources and gace different examples. They just twist stats and fact to fit their world view.

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  6. I hope we do get a second season. While keeping an eye out on Facebook, poly USA cast favorite form of social media, I noticed that Rose Marie remains single looking with only a bunch of girls her own age and having fun. Doesn't look committed to me. Tiffany and Ezra I do believe are broken up since she made the statement about these episodes make her MISS Ezra's family. Hmmmm

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  7. I hope this show gets picked up. Sister Wives has become all about vacations and buying houses. The people of CP seem more real. More of a mix too like one would expect in their own neighborhoods! I am curious about Uncle Arthur though...is that his actual house or is that a bunk house for the Missionaries? It seems too run down for some reason. Maybe he asked them not to film his real house so they could keep his youngest bride off camera? We never see all his kids either. I do like him though! He's a great dad who is trying to make his son Ezra into a man of worth and not a lazy bum!

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  8. My goodness...Kellie is such a mousy mouse. and SO not Hyrum's type.

    she is going to be run into the ground by his inevitable (and probably way more his type) future wives. BIG time.

    I can see why she had a crush on him...but still...so not suited.

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    1. My husband commented that if he was assigned a wife who was such a blatant poor match for him, would not sleep with him, and giggled all the time, he would say. "I'm out of here," and hit the road. On that note, do men have the option of turning down a potential wife? Can they say "No" to a pairing?

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    2. So what exactly is Hyrum's "type" then? We never seen him describe his "type" on the show. I've always just gotten the vibe that the boy lusts after anything with two legs and a pair of breasts. I also think if she is willing to be a 1st wife when all her friends dislike the idea , not to mention she's willing to take Hyrum on given his past, the girl's gotta be some what of a strong woman. Give the poor girl a break!

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    3. If Kellie is a some what strong woman, she doesn't need a break. She got the man she's wanted for a long time. She will build Hyrum's household and set the rules. Hyrum on the other hand can still marry a girl like the one he danced with at the New Years ball. I imagine the elders are already drowning in revelations from lovesick girls wanting to join his family. His next wife will not be a mouse like Kellie that is for sure.

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  9. Love the review, CJ! I really hope the show is picked up for another season. I really like the multiple family aspect of the show and the generational story lines, kind of something for everyone to enjoy. I agree that the producers 'suggest' things because the conversation between Rose and Rose Marie was obviously very forced and you could tell that Rose was struggling to get her advice 'right' (i.e. not get the community in trouble). I think it's possible that Michael chewed the wives out after their initial reaction to the shipping containers and told them to be sweet for the cameras when they actually went into the containers. So, Rose and Theresa played along, being dutiful (although I do think I saw Rose give an eye roll) but Connie, being his favorite wife and all, wasn't going to play nice about it. I do think they are trying to showcase Becca and Marlene as being fashionable, hip, cool wives that just happen to be polygamists. High heels, nice house, steak and sushi, wine fueled dinners with salacious talk....Ok, but check back in 5 years and see how much these women have aged and how they adapt to the next wife. I think it's relatively easy when you have under 10 kids, then add another wife and kids and the kids get older.....that's when it gets really tough. And seriously, they take the word of Joseph Smith so seriously about polygamy and believe so strongly in it, but totally blow off the whole 'no drinking' part of his testimony? I find that to be curious, why just hang your whole religion on polygamy but not on his other teachings All in all, great show, I hope we get a second season!

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    1. Marleen already looks aged to me. How many 30 year olds have forehead furrows that deep? Damn, I'm 50, and I don't have them that badly. It will be interesting to see if Becca keeps her looks. I think there's a reason they drink so much wine...to control the jealousy/envy/loneliness.

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    2. Excellent point! That's because all polygamists practice their religion, IMHO, simply for the polygamy aspect even though they claim they do not. Take away the multiple wives, and they'd all say LDS is the way to go. Just my thoughts on that.

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    3. I was going to comment on this. YES, everyone but Becka, Hyrum and his bride look far older than they are. Must be something about this lifestyle that ages you, and fast.

      If I may, Hyrum looked especially yummy in the kitchen, handsome guy. Hope he finds happiness with Kellie, or one of his future wives, sigh. In the real world with his work ethic, looks and drive to be a good husband he could have actually found a wife first time around that would have made him happy. I DO think he is rather immature for his age but I blame that on the culture he lives in.

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    4. Hyrum needs an older women. lmao!

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    5. I thought Marlene, Becca, and their husband were the only exceptions to not looking that old after marriage and kids. I thought Marlene was really pretty actually and I liked the way she dressed. Whoever was in charge was wise to choose to show them because they made polygamy look more modern and not as dowdy like the typical perception is. The Dargers make a point of dressing modern now too. Before they dressed very conservatively. I wonder if whoever is in charge of these churches is purposely telling them to dress more normally so they make a better impression?

      I bet not having fresh, clean water available in that town doesn't help with their aging. Also, I have noticed with both Sister Wives and this show they were eating a lot of cheap, processed foods. That tends to age people as well.

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    6. I'm not saying that Marleen isn't pretty - she is and she does dress quite well (I'm partial to high heels myself!) - I'm just saying that she looks older than 30, more haggard - the lines on her forehead give it away. i wonder if they were there before Becca became wife #2?

      It sounds like most people have their water delivered, if that is true about the radium - so it IS available (most people I know here have their water delivered or buy bottled water to drink - i'm not that fussy I drink from the tap!). Also, I think Isaiah's family eats a bit more healthy than the others - they're having sushi a lot, and steak is not really a bad thing in moderation of course...

      i think it's just everything - but the stress of just living the lifestyle, popping out kid after kid (righteous royal seed UGH) is aging the women very very quickly. Basically, they're broodmares.

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  10. I'm curious about a part of the belief system that wasn't covered (or I missed it if it was) and hope someone here has some insight. Several comments were made by various wives during this show that they believe they and their sisterwives belong to their husband from a covenant made in heaven before they were born. So what happens when that 70 year old husband up and dies on a young, 19 year-old wife? Or any wife for that matter? Does she remain single the rest of her life because he was the man she belonged to or can she remarry?

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    1. Anonymous 1:38

      Such a great question!

      I myself have often wondered this as it sounds like in polygamy, wives are "reassigned" in the event the husband dies (due to old age, injury or illness). What happens if a wife dies ahead of her husband? Where does she hang out? On her still living husbands planet?

      Also, what about maintream monogamous Mormons? Can and do widows remarry? In my Protestant wedding vows, I pledged my devotion and love to my husband "till death do us part." To which man is a Mormon woman sealed to is she remarries or in polygamy is "reassigned?"

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    2. what about maintream monogamous Mormons
      Generally speaking, a man can be sealed to many women, but a woman can only be sealed to one man. If a woman remarries, she is still sealed to her previous husband unless she has been officially unsealed from him. Sealings are for time (while alive) AND all eternity (in the afterlife) so "til death do us part" doesn't matter if the couple are sealed to each other. The Marriage sealing ceremony is considered sacred for Mormons and Fundamental Mormons and are held in a Temple or other designated sacred place(FM).

      Can and do widows remarry?
      Yes they can. See above regarding sealings.

      To which man is a Mormon woman sealed to is she remarries
      If she is still sealed, she needs to be unsealed in order to be sealed to her new husband. See above.

      What happens if a wife dies ahead of her husband?
      She will wait until her husband calls her secret name (given at the time of sealing)

      Here's a link with more info because this can be very confusing...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sealing_(Mormonism)

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    3. CJ,

      Thank you very much for answering my questions!

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    4. So besides getting divorced (legally) and remarried 3 times, the third to her first husband, poor Marie Osmond had a lot of sealing and unsealing to do!

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    5. I keep thinking of all of these scenarios like, what if the first husband dies and the woman is unsealed, remarries and then is sealed to her second husband and then he turns out to be a total jerk and cheats on her or is abusive, etc, and so they divorce and she is given the ability to be unsealed from him. What are her options a that point? Can she be re-sealed to her first husband, or will she have to marry again?

      I have to be honest, I just struggle with the belief that a woman's salvation is dependent on her husband.

      What about a Mormon woman that never marries? Is that possible?

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    6. You know, I knew a Mormon woman who was a widow and then remarried. The same thought crossed my mind...did she get unsealed from her husband of 50 years (and father to her 6 children) in order to marry the new husband? I will never know what she did because she moved away...but if I were in that situation, I would remain sealed to husband #1 and settle for a civil marriage to husband #2. But I have a feeling the LDS would know how to handle situations like you describe.

      The link to the wikipedia page actually does address spinster Mormon woman, but something tells me there literally are only a handful of women, because being married is so important to Mormon women (for obvious reasons).

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    7. Anonymous 1:38 I believe the answer to that is that the wife can get married again but she is only married on earth to the second husband and is married in heaven to husband #1. If the situation is reversed a married can be married to innumerable women on earth AND in heaven. AND I believe women can be 'sealed' to him after he dies so he can still have plural wives in heaven even if he doesn't have them on earth.

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    8. Adding to the sealing/Many woman were sealed to Joseph Smith AFTER he died. I would surmise that if a woman were unsealed once her husband died and resealed to a new husband and he was not eternity material, that she could be unsealed and resealed to her dead husband. Dead people have all sorts of privileges in the LDS cult.

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  11. Anyone who knows what's happened to Ezra and Tiffany since the season finale? I took a look at Tiffany's facebook and she posted an image of her and Ezra about a month ago. But no clues as to whether Ezra is back in CP or if they have gotten married yet.

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    1. i believe he is working out of state with his brother, no they are not married yet.

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  12. I am a total fan of this blog and have to say that this show is farrr better than SW for many reasons. It seems actually based on a belief system. I find it all so compelling and disgusting at the same time - like a car accident. I can't look away.

    I think on a broader scale, these shows are doing a lot to desensitize people to any idea of moral right and wrong. Anything goes as long as it doesn't hurt anyone/works for them/floats their boat blah blah blah and that is what is the most disturbing to me. Chew on this: If "truth is relative" then why bother saying anything is "the truth."

    On a lighter note, I love all the comments and find each and every family so interesting for all the reasons already stated. :)

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  13. I re-watched this show today. Even though there isn't the drama of SW, I am starting to think I like it much better. They admit they are showing us what they want us to see. They seem to be just showing us everyday life. Oh you bet there is much more to it, but, something tells me the group as a whole are at least a community, which we certainly didn't see of the AUB. I wonder if more families as a whole live together in CP than in the AUB. I have always said if you were going to BELIEVE that was the right way of life, it would be best to all live together and actually live the life instead of separate ones.
    Arthur, now he is a case. Part of me wants to not like him, he has a rough exterior. But he does believe what he is saying, and working as the mission head would be no easy task. Something tells me there is some softie under there. I hope so anyway.

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    1. I'm re-watching it now too. I would say it's much meatier than SW. for sure.

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    2. I like this show better as well, probably because it focuses on several families instead of just one. I really liked seeing different ages and viewpoints in the community. The Brown family was fine in their first season, but since their move to Vegas they seem to be falling apart. Their buying of the mansions really was the final nail in the coffin for me. I can't believe they didn't pay off their house in Lehi first or buy more reasonable houses. They could have bought 4 houses in Vegas already built in the same neighborhood for what they paid for 1 of their mansions.

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    3. I kind of like Arthur, based on what I know so far - which ain't much, but I think he is telling it like it is. He could probably be a little more gentle with Ezra concerning his flaws, but that's clearly not his style.

      I have great respect for those who truly stand up for what they believe. Half the time I may think they are totally wrong, but at least they have the courage of conviction. I have to give that to Arthur.

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  14. Why do so many of the people in this community seem to lack personality or even lack joyfulness ? Ezra and Hyrum seem to be pretty happy and even the young girl that turned herself in seemed to have some zest in her but all the others have a dull look in their eyes.Are they taught not to show any "elation" as a rule ? It seems to me that if there was any happiness or optimism in these people something buried it - long ago. I also find it odd that they do not have a church or temple in this group that was long ago established. And love the reports of some that live in trailers and some in nice houses depending on who they are related to or what they bring to the group financially.

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    1. I also have heard that they haven't shown a trailer park that has multiple wives in one home.
      I can't speak for their personalities. One would imagine suppressing your thoughts and feelings all the time probably tends to dull one's soul.

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    2. Wow, multiple wives in a trailer. Sounds like hell on Earth to me. I bet Michael Crawley is planning on having his next 4 wives live in those shipping containers, that might be even worse!

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    3. I believe in the Lisa Ling show Isaiah, Marleen and Beka were living in a trailer.

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    4. I saw the Lisa Ling show. Isaiah, Marleen and Beka had a really nice house. I remember being envious of their house. It definitely wasn't a trailer.

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    5. I watched the original Lisa Ling show (not the followup show) and they were definitely living in a trailer on the outskirts of town the narrator said. Marleen was pregnant and Becca had just given birth.

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  15. Did you guys know that one of the Darger daughters (Amanda) is married to one of Teresa's brother (Michael's wife the one that left then went back..)? (perhaps it was mentioned before, not sure)
    That's a REALLY small world.

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  16. Have to disagree strongly that there are only a handful of unmarried LDS women. I am from Utah for 17 years. Worked in a hospital and majority of my co workers were LDS, naturally. I have known many unmarried LDS women, in various stages of their lives. Most accept their fate, others not so much. The "singles" have ALOT of work to do in the Church, or the proper work is "calling". These women are run ragged if you ask me. They keep their singles ward going. And if you don't get married quickly to a return missionary, good luck finding an unmarried, worthy man. They aren't out there. So then you wait for a widower, good catch btw, is they still have their temple recommend. Other than that, you go to the middle aged singles activities and there is a reason many never got married. Unacctractive, overweight, personality disorders, not following the Church....But my friends, all darling ladies are quite bluntly not pretty ladies on the outside, but wonderful people on the inside.

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  17. Amanda keeps getting mentioned, can you explain how she came to CP? Was it an arranged marriage?

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    1. Amanda Darger married a man (Rob) from CP. They met while attending college. She was married in Utah at her parent's house (Joe, Vicki or Val I can't remember which is her mother) and parts of the reception were shown on the Dargers TLC special "My Three Wives".

      Amanda's husband Rob also happens to be Teresa Cawley's brother.

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    2. Amanda is the daughter of the third wife - can't remember which twin that is either, but it's the one who had been divorced. I didn't know that Teresa is his sister, but I guess in CP you can expect that most everyone is related, and rather closely at that.

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    3. These people must have so many cousins not to mention half brothers and sisters and all their relatives. In-breeding almost seems inevitable.

      My 2 cents since new poster, looong time reader: Recipe

      Take someone who is flirty by nature
      Mix some wine
      Add a little poker
      Shake in jealousy =
      Rebecca towards Marlene

      I found that fascinating to see a woman in this particular religion be so openly flirty. Add to that the Hyrum rumor (which aren't they now sister-brother-in-law since Kelli, Marlene's sister, is married to Hyrum) and I'm wondering if there is a different "mind set" that some of the younger generation is starting to have. They just don't usually show us those people.

      Seriously, how does a girl rebel around there, hold hands with a boy before being married??

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    4. since Kelli, Marlene's sister, is married to Hyrum
      That's a new one for me...last I read Kellie was related to Isaiah, sharing the same real last name (as well as fake name on the series if anyone noticed).

      how does a girl rebel around there, hold hands with a boy before being married??
      Uncle Art spelled it out...no unsupervised contact between boys and girls. They are only allowed to "date" for about 2 weeks before marriage.

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    5. polygamyth- I recommend Flora Jessop's book for the answer to how does a girl rebel AND what happens to her if she does. It's not the CP group, but might give some insight.

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    6. Must also read that book. This religion and its chaste moral stand makes me laugh. You know Hyrum and (can't remember his name, Art's son) look at getting married being able to get laid.

      There was a couple in high school, very Baptist dontdoanythingtillyouaremarried who married young, did the deed and divorced soon after.

      I may have been raised Catholic but had the sense to do some 'test driving' before I married at 26. And better for it.

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  18. It may have already been answered, but I believe Mormon women are sealed to their fathers initially. When they marry, they are then sealed to their husbands. So a spinster Mormon would still get to heaven & reside on their father's planet. The fact that I know this much about their theology troubles me greatly. I'm off to get a life (for today anyway)! LOL

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    1. Mormon children born after their parents have been sealed in a Mormon temple are sealed to their parents (female and male children to both parents). If the children are born before the parents are sealed, the children go through a temple ceremony to be sealed to the parents. The children are sealed to the parents in a family format, not a husband/wife format.

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  19. I'm so confuuuuuuuuuuuuused.....can someone draw a family tree for me!! lol

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    1. Polly, the red-haired spokesperson at the CPAC, looked like an older version of Kelli(Mrs. Hyrum). I didn't catch a last name for Polly but wondered if she isn't Kelli's mother? LOL There are so many family interconnections that resemblances could be misleading. I, too, am looking forward to a family tree!

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    2. I am requesting that the family tree be drawn in the Michael Cawley style! The pics in this post are hysterical!

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  20. Hi Everyone!

    Just a request...Let's keep this discussion on topic by commenting on the series Polygamy, USA. If you want to recommend a book, website or youtube video you've found, you can use Discussion Page 2. Here's the link: --- Discussion Page 2 Polygamy, USA Episodes ---

    Thanks!

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  21. BTW I officially call BS on the scene where Michael Crawley goes on his treacherous journey for precious water in the midst of the FLDS (totally exaggerated of course).

    I did some research on radium in drinking water, and for quite a bit less than $200 they could get a reverse Osmosis water purifier, according to what I read that would remove 90% of the radium in the water. I would be willing to bet that the Crawleys have one of these purifiers and they just wanted to add drama - the containers they had weren't nearly enough for his size family.

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    1. I read a government track on radioactive contamination of water and apparently it is quite common occurance. Water treatment plants use reverse osmosis to filter out the radioactive contaminants from drinking water as a rule. So, why hasn't Centennial Park built a water treatment plant? (looks like for a city it could cost $300 million to build, but heck...) Or at least provided each family with a reverse osmosis system? I think tithing money could be well spent. I wonder if those wealthy men in CP tithe more than the minimum 10%...

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    2. He spends thousands (per my research) of dollars to put in shipping containers for his future offspring, but can't spend $200 to assure safe drinking water for the family he has now.

      Excuse me while I barf...just like Kody, priorities are twisted. Totally.

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    3. All of the homes in CP have a reverse osmosis system installed in them, it is a requirement. But most believe that the fresh water from the natural spring in the canyon is still much better for your body. So they go up there to get their water instead of drink the RO water that is in their homes. That is what my family does, and it tastes so much better also. The people in Colorado City don't mind if you go there to get it, but if you bring a camera crew they assume you are there to focus on them and sometimes behave...kinda weird I guess.

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    4. Interesting. Glad to hear the families are safe. However, if that is the truth, Michael Cawley wasn't exactly honest on the show.

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    5. If what you say about CP being aware of the water situation and requiring RO in all homes, then I see some real credibility problems with Michael Cawley saying that the reason he goes to the "spring" is because of the radioactive water when the truth is he goes to the spring because the water tastes better than the RO water!

      If anything, this also tarnishes National Geographic's image for allowing this misrepresentation of the facts. What else has been misrepresented by Polygamy USA? Are the teens really as "pure" as they are presented or are there real problems that CP doesn't want outsiders to see? The guy who married the Darger girl said in Lisa Ling's documentary that he developed a prescription drug addiction as a teen in CP. How many other young people in CP are troubled and swept under the rug by their parents and church leaders? How much do the church leaders hide from the residents of CP?

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    6. ...when words like radioactivity are tossed around, I can see a real nut job--heck, even a normal person--feeling that reverse osmosis wasn't really enough to make them want to drink the radioactive water. I get that it "fixes" it, but I would still feel really uncomfortable about it. So...I'm advocating for the devil on this one issue. He could still be getting spring water because his belief is that the regular water isn't safe enough. :)

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    7. I don't buy it.
      Michael did not say they had water treatment but PREFERRED the other water. He fudged.

      EPA would have to have testing there, and make it safe to a certain extent, probably as safe or safer than the city water we have.

      Michael played a Martyr.
      It's REAL simple. He did not tell the truth.

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    8. I don't think he fudged. If the water does have radium in it, and it were me I wouldn't want to drink it even if it was going through an RO system. It is also highly possible that his explanation of that didn't make the cut in the 45 minutes of actual air time they had for the show, because honestly it isn't that interesting. I am sure the only reason the scene made it was because of the FLDS guy being weird about him getting water.
      Him going to get water that he believes is healthier for his family, makes me feel a little bit better about him really.

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    9. I'm not sure I can point the finger at NatGeo or its producers for this.

      It's Michael who chose to omit facts/fudge the truth, for drama purposes.

      yet another similarity with Kody - he's loving the attention, and while he might not be a "surfer dude" but reminds me more of an unfunny George Costanza, Michael is still as much a narcissist as Kody.

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  22. The whole Hyrum/Kellie situation had me cracking up. They seem so awkward together, and clearly she gave his name because he was the hottie, I'm surprised he wasn't already 'spoken for'.

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    1. I'm guessing that it was pretty much an arranged marriage, based on lineage, politics, and money.

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    2. Oh he'll be "spoken for" a few more times I'm sure in the future.

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    3. She's the only one he's not related to.

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  23. How could Hyrum and Kellie not be awkward, though? They barely know each other and now are living together as man and wife. I found it kind of endearing that it seemed that they hadn't actually slept together . . . much less creepy than the thought of them consummating the marriage while still so newly-wed.
    The shipping container thing is just so weird - how on earth can they heat those things? Nothing like making your kids into pod-people!

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    1. I thought so too, at least he had the graciousness (is that a word?? probably not) to not push her towards it too soon.

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  24. I agree about Hyrum and Kellie, given the very unusual circumstances they are in, including exposing their lifestyle on national TV, they should be acting in an awkward manner. Hyrum is more naturally expressive than she is, and a few years older, so he is handling the scrutiny slightly better. However, the awkwardness is not limited to Kellie, as it appears awkward for him to be explaining that privacy barriers do exist. It seems that they are used to the idea that the marriage needs to be broken into like a new pair of shoes. I think it's very interesting.

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  25. I have to wonder if with everyone so closely related if the "brethren" have a huge family tree drawing somewhere so they can track how close the proposed couple are to each other. I wonder if that is something they look at. Is that why when Kellie went so submit her name it took a couple of months? In such a close community they would need to watch out for inbreeding. How close in relationships do they allow? Does anyone know how close you can be before birth defects show up?

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  26. My "social worker" brain was flooring with the storage container issue. He better watch out or CPS will be knocking on his door.

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    1. On a followup video, there was footage of the shipping containers, with Michael giving the interviewer a "tour". There were windows, doors and insulation being installed. Actually I've read that shipping containers (called conex) are being used for military housing in Afghanistan. See the picture here (scroll down)

      Example of military housing

      With the right architect and imagination, the shipping containers can be made into some interesting living spaces.

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    2. Thanks CJ. I like the exploration of alternative housing...BUT, I would put myself in one before my children...AND the baby making would end, as the finances are so stretched as well as the housing.

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    3. One of the things I noticed was the "buildings" are placed so far from the main house. Check it out on Google maps...I hope he's planning on including bathrooms. I agree with you that only adults should live in them...but I don't think Michael wants to live in them and I'm pretty sure he's not going to stop impregnating his wives with his righteous royal seed.

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    4. How can I find it on googlemaps?

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    5. You can search for Colorado City Az. Centennial Park is south of CC between Colorado City airport and the main highway.

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  27. I just read the book Secrets and Wives: The Hidden World of Mormon Polygamy by Sanjiv Bhattacharya and I thought I would share a bit of what I have learned regarding the placement of young women in marriage.

    From what I gathered, in CP the ideal is certainly for young women to choose their husbands, without the benefit of dating, of course. That said, in one story there is a girl (21) in CP who was raised mostly outside the community but came back in as a teenager. She tells us how she went to the Bretheren with the name of her initial choice of husband and was turned down. So, she had to rethink her plan. Then, the Bretheren suggested a name, someone who was considerably older than she was and had only the 1 wife for about 15 years.

    In another story, a man who had had 3 unsuccessful monogamous marriages was being good until the Bretheren decided to "give" him another wife. So, it didn't seem like the girls were really in control of choosing their mates.

    So, I suspect that the fiction of girls having control is maintained by giving the young ladies their first preference in husband selection as long as it coincides with who the Bretheren think is ready for marriage and who might have a turn coming up. I also suspect that, in a relatively small community like CP, everyone probably knows who's due for a wife or ready to leave the missionary club and girls probably choose accordingly.

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    1. Welcome Shelly!

      Good book isnt it? I really don't understand the mental processes that most polygamists seem to possess where they think outsiders are not smart enough to see through their facade that their women are empowered to choose their husbands. Like I've said, if the girl's revelation is coming direct from God, they should accept her revelation as God 's will. Instead, a group of men make the final decision which in my view makes them no different from the FLDS, a group they spend most of their time distancing themselves from. Something tells me that when CP brethren decided to "allow " girls to choose husbands from divine revelation, something must have gone terribly wrong (at least in the Brethren 's eyes) so they added the extra step of approving or not approving the girl's choice. Which doesn't empower women AT ALL.





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    2. They have conjured up a way to make the women THINK they are making the decision, but I think we all know that it is the men who have the final decision.

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    3. Well said, CJ and JAT!

      I don't know about anyone else but I would like to know how Hanna (Uncle Art's daughter who is living in SLC) is making a living. As the author says in his book, you are only as free as your choices and it seems that most of these kids that we have seen so far lack a college education. There is definitely wealth there, though, and many of the CP families are into construction and other businesses.

      So, what is Hyrum going to do for a living? What if Kelli has to work? What are her skills?

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  28. I'm dying over here looking at the Michael Cawley-inspired artwork!

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  29. Love the reviews! Completely laughing my ass off at the drawings... and thinking of Michael's proud drawing.

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